Networking for a New Job: It's Not Just About You

Job hunting, specifically networking for a new job, is a lot like dating, at least in terms of the most common mistakes that people make – like talking too much about themselves and not listening to their audience.

And, let’s face it, few of us ask the other person what they are looking for or want. Granted, when it comes to dating, I will concede that men tend to be a couple of evolutionary cycles back in terms of listening skills, but in the context of networking for a job, women have reached full equality in terms of how bad most of them are at it.

Don’t take my word for it. Think about how many times in your career you got the phone call or e-mail from someone you didn’t know, who had gotten your name from a mutual friend or colleague, looking for a job and wanting to “network” with you.

You agree to talk with this person, out of respect for the relationship you have with the person who made the referral. What happens next is uncomfortable for both of you: A long, often chronological recitation of the person’s job history and qualifications ending with an unspecific, sheepish, question – “Do you know anyone that might be looking for someone like me?”

The good news is that there is a better way to network. The better news is that I have the help of someone with expertise in effective networking – Karen Katz of Law Practice Consultants.

Karen works with law firms, corporate legal departments and individuals to help attorneys hone their communication, sales and marketing capabilities. And, indeed, one of the first things you will learn with Karen is that in networking the number one rule is engaging your audience.

Karen’s stresses that you need to find the balance between AAY and AAT – All About You versus All About Them. It may seem counterintuitive – after all you’re the one looking for a job, so what do you care about the people you are talking with? If they can help you, they will. Right?

Wrong. We are all looking out for number one – at least most of the time. Your networking efforts must reflect this fact. Let the person you are meeting with go first. Find out what you can do to help the person you are asking help from.

Below are some specific ideas on how to get the person you are meeting with want to help you, get them to provide more effective help, and even help you more effectively network with others.

All About Them

Ask questions and learn what concerns the person you are meeting with. What are their interests and passions?

Here’s why you want to do this. First, maybe you learn something about what concerns them that you can help with. Once you know their concerns, maybe you know something about the issue and can help them directly.

Maybe you can share with them a copy of something you did in your prior job or that you got from your outside counsel that addresses the issue. Maybe it’s a referral to an outside counsel that you have worked with that specializes in the issue they are wrestling with. What is important is that you asked, listened and tried to help them.

Second, you can take information you gathered during your networking with others, and – now knowing what interests the person you are sitting across from – you can share valuable information with them. What have you seen in the market in terms of opportunities? Have you learned new things about what other in-house counsel are getting paid?

Third, you can take what you learn and connect people in your network to each other that share the same professional issues or personal interests.

Okay, enough about them – you need to talk about you. After all, you are not there to play Mother Theresa, so now you need to find the balance between the All About Them part and the All About You part.

All About You

In my experience, most of the people that meet with me in an effort to network as part of a job search come at it unprepared and sheepishly. Here is where Karen again provides some excellent advice, the result of meeting hundreds upon hundreds of lawyers looking for a job when she is working with companies and law firms to find talent.

Karen’s first point is that the part of your networking presentation that is about you must be organized, positive, sincere and prepared. Search professionals and colleagues don’t want to hear you complain, talk about the political infighting that led to particular lay off decisions or how the job hunt stinks.

If you need to vent, hire an outplacement consultant or therapist – or both!

Karen’s second point is that you better know your audience and tailor your presentation accordingly.

Job search professionals, for example, want to meet with you and can help if you treat them like you would a prospective employer. E-mailing your resume with a note that

says “Call me if you got something,” won’t get you much more than a cursory glance. Your lack of effort will result in a comparable lack of interest in working with you. Remember, headhunters (Karen would prefer that I use the phrase “search professionals”), at least the good ones, value their reputation with their clients above all else.

What that means is that even if you have the world’s best resume, your lack of effort in dealing with the headhunter is going to make him or her worry that you might reflect poorly on them because you come across as unprepared or unprofessional if they set up an interview for you with one of their clients.

So they are likely to forget about you. Help them help you. Take the time to think through and be able to articulate what you have to offer in terms of experience and expertise and what you are looking for. In everything you do, make the headhunter feel confident that they will be able to “sell” you.

As with headhunters, your professional colleagues are very protective of their reputation and very limited in their time. Don’t start a meeting with asking for a job, saying something like, “Yeah, well I got laid off and so now I gotta find something.” You laugh, but this is the norm not the exception

Your goal should be to engage the listener, see what she knows and thinks and then present yourself and what you are looking for in a succinct, articulate and positive manner. Finally, depending on what you learn about your colleague and his or her response to your presentation, make sure to end with some specifics – both in terms of what you can do for them and what they can do for you. Then make sure that you each do what you say you would.

Karen’s third point is that networking when you need to is a lousy second best to making networking an important and constant part of your career. Yes, it is hard to find the time. But the difference between having a network in place before you need it and trying to create one when you have to can mean the difference between whether your severance package (if you were lucky enough to even have one) runs out before you find that new job.

Besides, networking (which often involves food and alcohol at some industry boondoggle) has got to be more fun than your day job. So as the commercial says, “Networking – It’s good and good for you.”

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions on this column or suggestions for future topics, please contact me at [email protected].

Gabriel Miller was, until very recently, the general counsel of Captivate Network, a Gannett company. He gratefully acknowledges the help of Karen Katz, Esq. of Law Practice Consultants in contributing to this article. Karen is a business development trainer, coach and search professional with Law Practice Consultants and can be reached at [email protected]. Karen works with law firms nationwide on their business and talent acquisition strategies. For more information about Law Practice Consultants, go to www.lawpracticeconsultants.com.